Babies and Sleep (or lack thereof)…

My first child did not sleep.  Literally.  During the first three months, she was on a cycle: feed for an hour, scream for an hour, sleep for 45 minutes.  Repeat cycle.  Life was AWFUL.   As a doctor, I’ve experience intense sleep deprivation, but nothing I had ever experienced prepared me for the hell of a non-sleeping baby.    During my hours awake, I read every book available about infant sleep cycles.    To save you time, I’ve condensed my research, my own personal experience, and almost two decades of working with families into the following thoughts.  This is not a comprehensive guide, but truly gives you the nitty-gritty.

• 1)    Understand baby sleep cycles and needs.

• 2)    Understand your parenting style, and what you are comfortable with.

• 3)    Be consistent in whatever approach that best combines your parenting style with your baby’s sleep capabilities.

  When babies are first born, they do sleep a lot, but not consistently. A baby sleep cycle is around 45+ minutes.  It can take 10+ minutes for a baby to fall into a deep sleep.  Waking is often driven by hunger, but can also be driven by “lightening” in a baby’s sleep cycle.  Lightening is when a baby is at the end of their sleep cycle, and they enter a light sleep from which they either wake up or continue into their next sleep cycle.

  Tricks at this stage include holding your baby until about 10 minutes after you think they have fallen asleep.  Swaddling a child can help them not rouse themselves between sleep cycles.   Some folks swear by making sleep a routine, some folks swear by letting the baby set the sleep schedule – either method works.  I do, strongly believe that a rested baby sleeps well.  Do NOT keep your baby up trying to get them to sleep longer stretches at night.

  Somewhere between three and four months, babies often start waking out of habit as opposed to out of hunger.  What this means is that when they lighten at the end of a sleep cycle, they become awake enough to need whatever routine got them to sleep in the first place to get them back to sleep.  This is where sleep frustrations can kick in for the whole family!  All of a sudden, your baby might demand to be fed, or held and rocked every one to two hours for the duration of the night.  Your baby cries to get your attention and keep your attention because they want their routine! The more variations given to their routine (not going right away, trying something else occasionally), the longer they will cry.

  This is a crossroad for many families – either path forward is a good path, as long as it feels right for your family. 

  If you do not believe in letting your baby cry, make sure that you keep to the routine as quickly as possible when your child rouses.  This is the quickest way for you and your baby to get back to sleep.  Eventually, your baby will sleep longer. 

 If you are ok with letting your baby cry, then sleep training works very well at this age.  Sleep training is basically setting your baby down slightly awake, and letting them put themselves to sleep.  During this learning phase, your baby will often cry (a lot) because they want their routine.  Often, within three nights, a baby learns that they can put themselves to sleep!   The first night is hell, the second night might be bad, but typically by the third night, everyone is sleeping well. 

Whatever path you take in supporting your baby’s sleep, know that eventually, they will sleep.

Whatever path you take, your baby will wake, loving you just as much.

This discussion is truly only a tip of the iceberg summation.  To further discuss the many nuances surrounding baby sleep, feel free to contact me.

Personalized Pediatrics of Maine strives to be the best Pediatric office in the state of Maine!